Hall of Fame

Probably the best part of journalism is reading through the responses I get from readers. Many of them are thoughtful, flattering, and considerate.

On the other hand, there are the really good ones – the unintentionally hilarious, the deliberately insulting, or, my favourite, from a person who thinks that just by telling me I’m wrong, he’s going to change my mind.

Below, find some examples of both, or just those that I found hilarious. More will be added as I get them. Names and emails will always be removed for privacy reasons, but otherwise, the text will remain as-received.

  • This is the crown jewel of my collection of responses. The National Post received this letter after my column on the risks of Pakistan collapsing. Find the original letter here.

Re: By Any Means Necessary, Matt Gurney, April 23.

The apprehensions expressed about the possibility of Pakistan’s nuclear assets falling into the hands of terrorists are without any justification. The government of Pakistan is fully cognizant of its responsibilities. With a strong democratic government and a large professional army, Pakistan is capable of dealing with the threat of militancy.

Today more than ever before, the Pakistani nation stands firm in its resolve to combat the menace of terrorism and extremism. Our people are motivated, our armed forces galvanized and our resources mobilized to address this common menace.

It is in our mutual interest not to indulge in a blame game. The international community needs to stand together and help Pakistan strengthen its capacity to eliminate extremism and terrorism from the region.

The question of Pakistan’s nuclear assets falling into the hands of extremists does not arise, since we have a very well established command and control system. Pakistan is a strong country. We will safeguard our sovereignty and territorial integrity at all costs.

Mamoona Amjed, Pakistan High Commission, Ottawa.

Canadian did not elect a conservative government.  They elected a conservative minority of Parliament’s seats.  Making a government is for the one(s) who enjoy a majority of the seats which currently is not the Conservatives. Outside of that I enjoyed your column.

  • That same column led to this brilliant exchange:

Wow.  Good stuff.

[Name Deleted], the guy who’s banned from posting because I pissed off Bin Laden and McParland.

  • When I asked him what his rather bizarre sign-off meant, and how he pissed off my rather likable editor, he sent me a long, rambling email, wherein he explains that he had decided to write racist, homophobic, and generally provocative comments on the National Post’s website message board. To his shock, his comments were deleted. He concluded his email by writing,

Plus, I have been known to ask other writers over there to remind McParland that I still think he is a pussy.

Happy New Year.

  • After reading my column on the future of the CBC, this charming person got in touch, with a very convincing argument:

Yeah Hockey Night in Canada is totally out of touch and nobody watches it at all.   Rick Mercer, The hour, The National are all far more entertaining that generic lame ass fat american crap like house where a bunch of people sit around and eat platefulls of drama.  There should be a huge dome put over the usa so that nothing can leave that cesspool. Get a clue bud your article was terrible

  • Here’s a great response to this. He misses the point just a tiny bit. As always, I’ll remove anything that could identify him, except for the nickname he gave himself. Very thoughtful of him. Thanks, Deerslayer!

People who waste their time writing about the plight of birds have entirely too much idle time on their hands.  Get a life. I suppose you will tell me it is a more humane death when torn asunder by a fox whose multitude is gowning due to some idiotic ban on fox hunting.  Go smoke your stuff and leave the world to those who live life to its fullest.

sign me deerslayer

More to come…


Testimonials

Matt's talks help keep my residents alert and interested in the world around them. So many of them feel cut off from a society that they were once actively involved in. Matt's talks bring a little of that world into their lives, in a witty and knowledgable manner.

His lively conversations with the residents give them a chance to share some of their valuable experiences with a sympathic listener. Even better, after he leaves, they talk amongst themselves, sharing their stories and learning things about each other that they never would have otherwise. Every time Matt comes, the first thing they ask me is, "When can he come back?"

-Martha Worts, Social Coordinator, Grand Wood Park Retirement Residence.

"I really like the way he speaks to us."

"He talks about it all without any hesitation at all. I love it!"

"He can come back and speak any time."

"Very articulate views on timely topics. "

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